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- Culture & Black Life, EBONY Attitudes, EBONY Exclusive
In the “What Women Want”-part of our EBONY/QuestionPro study, African-American Women on Love, Dating
But what about the guys? Could we expect the tropes of simplicityand predictability with regard to African-American males and the same subjects?Again, the results were surprising and complex. Welcome to 2019.
The study was a joint EBONY/QuestionPro research initiative conducted in February with approximately 700 subjects. Nearly 300 African-American males, whose numbers were spread evenly across educational and financial demographics, participated in the survey. Fifty-four percent of respondents have never been married, 31 percent are currently married and the remainder are either divorced, widowed or separated.
Here is the currentrelationship status of unmarried Black men respondents:
· Not looking right now: 27 percent
· Looking but not dating: 23 percent
· In a committed relationship butliving apart: 20 percent
· Living with someone:18 percent
· Dating but not exclusively: 11percent
Let’s get what men REALLY want out of the way
Are Black men “always up for it” as the perennial trope seems tosuggest? Data from the study indicates Blackmen are multidimensional and thoughtful as it relates to when it’s appropriateto first have sex when dating.
Here is the breakdown (and we’ve added female responses for acomparison):
1. No hard, fast rule: 42 percent (47percent for women)
2. Two or three dates: 21 percent (3percent for women)
3. Once it’s known relationship will beexclusive: 14 percent (31 percent for women)
4. First date: 9 percent (fewer than 1percent for women)
5. Not until marriage: 8 percent (16percent for women)
Black women are more conservative than Black men, certainly, butmen are far from cavalier when it comes to first having sex in datingrelationships.
But can thebrothers commit?
More than half of Black men (52 percent) surveyed want to marrytheir current partners, 38 percent indicate not being sure and only 11 percentsay they have no interest. This tells us African-American males aren’tnonchalant or wasting time in their dating explorations. (Fiftypercent have no problem dating withouta serious commitment; surprisingly, this figure is actually lower than the onefor Black women, which is 60 percent).
Further evidencing that Black men are not averse to commitment, 47percent state they have been with their current partners for five years or more,and only 11 percent say they haven’t made it past the six-month honeymoon.What’s more, 61 percent of respondents claim their sex lives with their currentpartners is without issues, while 65 percent say cheating is absent in theirrelationships.
Where do Black men go to find partners?
Parallel to our research on women, physical networking is still tops when it comes to meeting potential mates. Twenty-two percent of Black men see friends as the primary way, and online dating comes in second at 17 percent.
After friends and the internet, here is where Black men findsomeone to date:
1. Social club: 12 percent
2. Work: 12 percent
3. Bars: 11 percent
4. Family introduction: 8 percent
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5. School: 5 percent
Here is the breakdown on where they actually met their current partnersor spouses:
1. Through friends: 23 percent
2. Online dating service: 20 percent
3. At work: 15 percent
4. At school: 12 percent
5. Family introduction: 5 percent
6. Church, mosque or other place ofworship: 5 percent
7. Social club: 5 percent
8. At a bar: 4 percent
The study also found single Black men are hopeful as far asfinding companions: 86 percent say they are optimistic about being in arelationship; 56 percent are confident they will one day marry. Only 11 percentof participants state they are not optimistic about finding a companion, but 15percent believe they will never be married. By comparison, 26 percent of Black female respondents are not optimisticabout landing Mr. Right.
So do African-American males even want to get married? Apparently,they do: 50 percent agree/strongly agreethat marriage is important, whereas only 16 percent disagree/strongly disagreethat marriage is important.
Interracial dating
Getting back to tropes, there is a famous (or infamous) one thatBlack men secretly want to cross the racial divide with regard to matrimonypossibilities. In our last article, we mentioned Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever as a representation of theinterracial dating challenges for both men and women. When it comes to Blackmen, though, the results are closer to the 2002 film Undercover Brother, wherein the protagonist, played by EddieGriffin, becomes a hero to his colleagues (including the paranoid DavidChappelle character) for being in a relationship with a White woman.
When it comes to being open to marrying a Caucasian, 50 percentagree/strongly agree,18 percent disagree/strongly disagree and 29 percent areneutral. As for marrying Asians, 46 percent agree/strongly agree; only 8 percentdisagree/strongly disagree;andone-third, 33 percent, are neutral.Fiftypercent of Black men agree/strongly agree with marrying a Hispanic, 18 percentdisagree/strongly disagree and 31 percent are neutral.
The crossing-the-racial-divide trope is dope, it seems, and Blackmen better keep this under their hats or many may end up sleeping on the couchor isolated with the boys at a bar. The numbers shift in the men’s responsesabout attraction to lighter-skinned individuals ; only 26 percent of respondents state they agree/strongly agree, 36percent disagree/strongly disagree and 34 percent are neutral.
About LGBTQ relationships
How do men feel about LGBTQ issues? Ninety percent of studyrespondents state they are straight, and 16 percent of those claim they haveever been attracted to another man. Eleven percent say they have experienced asexual encounter with another man, and 15 percent agree/strongly agree that aman can have a homosexual encounter and not be classified as gay; 65 percentdisagree/strongly disagree that a man can remain straight after one homosexualencounter.
Sixteen percent state they discovered during a relationship theirpartner was a lesbian, transgender or bisexual.
When it comes to same-sex marriage, here is what African-Americanmales say about it being legal:
1. No: 34 percent
2. Yes: 31 percent
3. Don’t care: 20 percent
4. Not sure/Other: 15 percent
Do Black men believe a gay person can become straight? Forty-threepercent agree/strongly agree this is the case, 30 percent disagree/stronglydisagree. When it comes to trans people having a choice, 51 percentagree/strongly agree, and 25 percent disagree/strongly disagree.
It should be noted that, as with the study on Black women, thelower the income, the more conservative the attitude of African-American men.Millennials generally are far more liberal in their views of LGBTQrelationships. Overall, however, 51 percent of Black men say if celebs were tocome out as gay or bisexual, their opinions of those stars would remainunchanged.
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What does this data tell us? It seems there is hope in all thesetropes, even as times and Black men’s societal views evolve. Perhaps in time,Black love will come to fully embody the LOVE described in Scripture: A Title:African-American Men on Love, Dating and Marriage
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Rudly Raphael is the president of research and insight for QuestionPro. He has more than 15 years of experience in the market research industry, implementing primary and secondary research for a number of high-profile clients. He’s a frequent blogger and has published a number of articles on various topics.
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